As the parent of any 14-year-old son, who apparently lied, stole, and sold drugs, Dynesha Lax opted to shame her child into obedience. Dissatisfied with the court’s punishment of her son, Ms. Lax sentenced her son to wear a sandwich-board style sign in public for two hours.
The mother’s rationale was, “since he’s looking for attention, we’re going to get you attention.” While it is obvious that the child needs some attention, how can she not differentiate between the negative attention this punishment provides and the much-needed positive attention that would better benefit the child?
The fact that her son is allegedly a lying, thieving, drug selling 14-year-old has everything to do with her parenting skills up to this point. Nevertheless, she holds the child wholly responsible for whom and what he has been allowed to become under her parentage. Where is the accountability?
Attempts to shame and humiliate the child into obedience are not only wrongheaded, but just downright cruel. Rather than demeaning the child, why not build this young man’s self-esteem so that he won’t resort to such actions?
This shame and humiliation approach is a bullying tactic that violates this child’s human rights. We’ve already discussed how children who bow down in the face of such actions become adults who will do the same, even contrary to their own self interest.
Ultimately, we are not our actions. Our worth is not determined by the things that we do, but rather by our mere existence. Our value as people is intrinsic, and this is the message we instill in young people.
When all is said and done, Dynesha Lax actions are counterproductive. Oh yeah, she gets a gold star for permanently chronicling this demoralizing event via the news media for all of his potential employers to see. I’m sure that will work out just fine for her son in the future.
“I lie, I steal”: Mom doles out unique punishment
(CBS News) When traditional punishment wasn’t enough, one Fort Wayne, Ind. mother took a more creative route to get her son to change his ways: She made him wear a placard publicly proclaiming his crimes.
Dynesha Lax made her 14-year-old son stand on a street corner for two hours, wearing a sign that said, “I lie, I steal, I sell drugs, I don’t follow the law,” after saying that few hours of community service he received for his law-breaking behavior wasn’t enough.
“Since he’s looking for attention, we’re going to get you attention,” Lax said.
The sign has garnered controversy, with people split on the issue.
“Boy, that seems awfully harsh,” parent Dean Vidal said to CBS station WCBS in New York.
However, mother of three and parenting expert Tammy Gold thinks Lax might be on to something – as long as it doesn’t cause harm to the child. “At first glance it seems cruel and hurtful and not something that a parent would do. As a clinician, I think about it like maybe that’s the only thing that will work with her son,” Gold said. Source: CBS News
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