Happy Father’s Day to the ones who were not particularly, presumably/mostly by choice, involved in their child(ren)’s upbringing. I notice that most people are attempting to qualify who deserves reverence on this day. Let us not forget that most of the time it takes two people to create a child. Without the one some call “a sperm donor” or “deadbeat,” your child, you, or anyone who may have grown up in the home of a single mother would not be in existence.
The fact that we must give accolades to people who are involved in their child’s life has always make me feel a bit uneasy. Of course, this is based on the notion that people should take care of their responsibilities, so we hear, “Happy Father’s Day to… [insert qualifying statement here.]” Many times, children who are born were conceived by what many would characterize as “a mistake.” It just so happens that the woman carries the baby to term and “is stuck” with raising the child alone, if the father chooses not to stick around. I am sure there are many mothers who would do the same if they were afforded the luxury of not being straddle with carrying the child to term. Think I am wrong? How many women have abortions, put their children up for adoption to hand off responsibility of raising the child to another, and even go to the great lengths of killing their children? Yes, many men decide to stay around to help raise the child to become a great person–according to their own belief system–but for many, that is AFTER the mistake of conception was achieved.
One of the cruelest circumstances, or situations, a person can subject another to is life. All that one goes through, good and bad, has a direct link to that point at which the sperm fertilized the ovum. Both parents were involved, and every bad time or hardship would not have been endured if the two parents had not, intentionally or unintentionally, fused the gametes. Can you think of anytime where you found yourself enduring hardtimes, challenges, or overwhelmingly negative situations in this life? And yes, life does allow us to experience great times, but the good times, too, require the egg of a mother and the sperm of a father. Whether the father is around or not, the good times in anyone’s life has a direct link to him.
I’m sure I am the result of an unintended pregnancy, and my father was not around for most of my childhood–throughout my entire school years. Even if he had been around the entire time or more often, it was a mistake, but I was and am still able to experience life. If “doing what’s right” after subjecting someone to the negativity of life deserves praise, so does not “doing what’s right.” Besides, how different would I be if my father was around me to try and mold me into a man he would be proud of?
As much as people love to think that there is a right way and wrong way–something set in stone–to lead children in the right direction, it’s not so simple. There are many men whom had inactive fathers whom have grown to become what others consider respectable and generally good men. I like to think of myself as one of them, but that is up to the interpretation of the people with whom I come in contact. Despite how I feel about President Barack Obama, there are millions of people who look at him as the greatest achievement of African Americans, or simply a great person. It is not an unknown fact that Barack Obama’s father was not actively involved in his life. Just think for moment; would we even know who Barack Obama is if he grew up in a home and family that most people believe to be the best model for raising great men?
So, before you continue to exclude men like Barack Obama, Sr. or my father from your praises on this Father’s Day 2012, think about the greatness they have contributed to this world. Take some time and commend every male who has contributed–even if simply by providing the sperm–to creating great people like you, your children, other children you know, and me.
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